Replacing Other Dairy: The Last of the Easy Ones

Before we turn to the cheese discussion, which is interesting and complicated, I thought I'd round out the "Yes you CAN love these!" dairy replacers.

BUTTER

Unless you've been blacked out on bourbon while visiting The Uprising, you already know about Earth Balance vegan butter and all its amazing non-hydrogenated deliciousness. And though you'll find that most crappy margarine is actually vegan (Country Crock,Gold N Soft, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and the like), it's sooooo bad for you and laden with heart-clogging grossness. If you want to experience what your veins and arteries are going through when you ingest that shit, try this experiment on for size: Take a glob of whatever cheap garbage margarine you talked yourself into buying and schmear it on your palm. Now, try and wash it off. Hmmm....okay, now try and add some soap. Still not working? Have to get a washcloth to scrub your hands clean? When you eat that margarine, the same thing is going on inside your poor body! If you use margarine, stop immediately!

CREAM CHEESE AND SOUR CREAM

Tofutti is the way to go. Their Better Than Cream Cheese and Better Than Sour Cream are both amazing! My wonderful friend Lizzie even says she prefers them to the real thing. There are a few other brands, but Tofutti tastes the best and is widely available.

ICE CREAM

It's been a long-time goal of mine to purchase an ice cream maker and become adept and homemade frozen vegan treats. I haven't done it yet. Maybe it's because I'm so satisfied with the non-dairy ice creams that are already out there! The frozen treat market is highly competitive, which means lots of great options for all you hotties out there who thumb your nose at the pus-ridden, fat-ass-causing, phlegm-inducing traditional ice creams! Feast on these till you're blue in the face:

Luna and Larry's Coconut Bliss is my most beloved frozen goodie. It is SO F-ING AMAZING. These pints of summery heaven are pricey, but worth the occasional splurge...especially in the form of Mint Galactica or Dark Chocolate.

Turtle Mountain has the largest variety of flavors, with either soy milk or coconut milk base. Their So Delicious brand is organic and comes in 10 flavors (the Strawberry is outta this world, while the Mint Marble Fudge is disappointing). They also have a brand called Purely Decadent this is, exactly as the name states, decadent beyond all reason and not for everyday consumption. But if you're looking to be naughty...this is where to go. Cookie Avalanche and Chocolate Mint Madness rank at the top for me, with Peanut Butter Zig Zag lagging just behind. They are WONDERFUL and CREAMY and AMAZING and VEGAN! And PUS-FREE!

Soy Dream and Rice Dream are both available as non-dairy desserts, too. The flavors are all fairly ho-hum, but the Vanilla is good is both rice and soy forms and makes one hell of a delicious vegan milkshake! Plus, they'll always be the cheapest option at less than 3 dollars a pint. Yay for that!

Letting go of dairy is all about finding a good replacement, and now you know just how easy it is! Think what you could whip up without dairy...how about tea time? Shortbread cookies made with vegan butter, dipped in chocolate. Strawberry shortcake with whipped soy yogurt and honey. Scones slathered in jam. Black tea with soy milk. Sounds scrumptious, right? You don't need dairy to have a fulfilling food-life, and you DEFINITELY don't need all the other crap floating around in that dairy either. So eat up, and enjoy your life as firm-bodied hottie.

(Cheese? That's coming.)