Weenicello and Cock-in-a-Bottle

Today, during some online musings and other interesting internet what-have-yous, I stumbled upon another societal weirdness...another "what the hell?" moment...another rather odd assumption about our need for meat...Yup, a marriage of meat and booze! Cause meat is good for you and you should do your best to introduce it into every aspect of your life...since you're so exhausted from running around trying to catch and kill it! WOOT!

Okay, it's gross. But it's also frickin' hysterical. The jar you see above is full of a new delicacy they're calling "Weenicello" (like limoncello, a really delicious aged lemon liqueur), which consists of a package of Hebrew National hotdogs soaked in vodka for 5 weeks. Who greenlighted THAT idea? I bet that tastes a lot like the brine surrounding pig fetuses in your biology teacher's closet. Putrefied hotdogs not your bag? You can do it with BACON too! And it even turns pale yellow when it's ready!!! YAY!

The website is touting that yes, it's a novelty and probably not for everyone (just like those suckers with grasshoppers and moths suspended in them). But, they also say that combining alcohol and meat has been shown to produce good health effects! They suggest that the next time you feel a bit weak in the joints, or if you feel a spell of impotence coming on, you should whip yourself up a batch of Vietnamese scorpion wine. Tee hee. That's funny.

I don't share these silly things for any other reason than to immerse us all in a big all-encompassing WTF moment, and to imagine what it would be like to swig down a big ol' glass of pale yellow bacon vodka.....

Oh and HEY! Wanna learn how to make a "cocktail"?
(Recipe taken from Smith's Complete Housewife, 1736)

Take ten gallons of ale and a large cock, the older the better. Parboil the cock, flay him, and stamp him in a stone mortar until his bones are broken (you must gut him when you flay him). Then, put the cock into two quarts of sack (dry sherry), and add five pounds of raisins of the sun, stoned, some blades of mace, and a few cloves. Put all these into a canvas bag, and a little before you find the ale has been working, put the bag and ale together in a vessel. In a week or nine days bottle it up, fill the bottle just above the neck and give it the same time to ripen as you would other ale.