Headed for Seattle

Ahh...Seattle. One of my favorite cities on the globe. All the philosophy and gleaming glass of Portland, with the omnipresent, slightly scuzzy, music-saturated underculture. I freakin' love it.

AJ and I are lucky enough to visit this lovely place a few times every year, this time for a big 'ol fencing tournament. I myself will be headed for Bellingham as well, to spend some time with my oldest friend in the world, Stephanie (who is also the writer of the highly-acclaimed-yet-on-hiatus blog, Bay & Champion). Bellingham is fabulous too...kind of like Missoula on crack. See?


This'll be awesome. Lots of pictures to come, including more about how I stay vegan on the run.

Udon Soup with Kale

...for when you have ten minutes to make dinner and almost nothing in the way of ingredients. And you want to use your fabulous "complimentary" cereal bowl! (Isn't that awesome?)

Bring a small amount of water (about 1/4 cup) to boil in the bottom of a large skillet. Add:
2-4 bunches kale, ribs removed, roughly chopped
salt and pepper

Cover the skillet and let the kale steam in the boiling water while you prepare the other stuff.

Bring a large pot of water to boil and cook your udon noodles for about 5 minutes, or until they're al dente. Don't overcook them or they'll be soft and nasty!

Meanwhile, while your noodles are workin', bring another 2 cups of water to boil in a sacuepan and add a veggie bouillon cube.

To assemble, place your steamed kale in the bottom of a nice deep bowl, toss in your cooked noodles, and pour the broth over the top. Simple and delicious! Easily enjoyed with chopsticks! Huzzah!

The Best Hangover Food. Ever.

(That's AJ in the background, not me. Just sayin', in case you thought I grew facial hair).

Bird's nest. Cowboy eggs. Moon eggs. Toad in a hole. Whatever you call it, it is the best thing EVER after a night on the town.

I call it eggy in a basket.

It's rare indeed to get all your buddies together to go out for dinner. It is rarer still to get everyone together and have no one amongst them who has to work the next day! Holy crap! So, to celebrate, my pals and I went, um, a little overboard last night. Not ridiculously overboard, but enough to cause a shaky start this morning.

Since you already know that eggs will sometimes creep their way into my otherwise-vegan diet, I need not burden you with an explanation about it. Today was a day for eggs, and that was how it was gonna be. Go ahead. Judge me.

There's something so fabulous about eggy in a basket...it's crunchy fried yummines on the outside, chewy breadiness on the inside, covered in salt, and full of egg-tastic indulgence. Fab. Wanna make it? Sure you do.

Slice up a nice baguette on a diagonal. You want fairly thick, long pieces of bread. Take two pieces and rip out the center, making space for the egg but not going all the way to the crust.

Then, heat a skillet at medium temp. Throw in a big wad of Earth Balance butter. Take a whiff. Put your bread face-down in the pan and crack one egg directly into the center of the bread (don't worry if there's spillover...it'll be fine). Sprinkle some salt and pepper over the top, cover the pan, and let 'em cook for about 5 minutes. Then, flip them over and do the same thing, taking care to see if you need to add a bit more butter (the bread absorbs a lot...that's what makes it so good).

Cooking on the second side need only take as long as you want it, depending how you like your eggs. Runny? Eh, 'bout 2 minutes. Soft? 3 minutes. Over hard? 5 minutes. It'll take a bit of practice to get it just right, but by the time you're munching down on these slices of heaven you won't care if the eggs are perfect.

This hangover cure is brought to you by me, Shelley, your lush friend.

PS: Wanna try an adaptation? How amazing does THIS look!?!?

Veganism and Pregnancy

I AM NOT PREGNANT nor do we intend to have a baby anytime soon. If ever.

As irrelevant pregnancy talk is to my current life, it's been filtering through the rest of the noise recently...and for some unexplained reason. It's been coming up in conversation more than ever. I've been forced to answer the "When is it your turn?" question way too often (stop asking). There are more pregnant women in my life right now than at any other time...five, actually. How crazy is that? But all this could've been ignored, forgotten, simply tossed away with the rest of the stuff I've chosen not to process...if it weren't for the following conversation:

Loved one: "Are you and AJ thinking about having children?"

Me: "Uh..." Never underestimate the level of annoyance this question will produce.

Loved one: "Anytime soon?"

Me: "Definitely not. We're poor. We have cats. We're good."

Loved one: "Oh yeah?"

Me: "Yeah."

Loved one: "Well, it's a really important decision...don't rush it. Besides, you'd have to give up that whole vegan thing and I think it might be hard for you."

Me: "Wha?"

Yup. There it is, folks. I guess we can all be vegan just until we get pregnant. You can't really blame them...there's a TON of bad press out there about children who were starved to death by vegan parents, and it all stems from the bad ideas people have about veganism in general. It's ideological and naive. Temporary. Part of a "bleeding heart" phase. Unhealthy (because there's no possible way someone could live without Big Macs and steak n' eggs). Unrealistic. A minor thing that will go away once the person has accepted all the evils of the world, given up, and decided to acquiesce. But child abuse? Hold the phone!

Crown Shakur died at 3.5 pounds after 6 weeks of life. His parents were feeding him apples and soy milk.

Silva Swinton was sentenced to 5 to 25 years in prison for nearly starving her baby girl. She fed her pureed fruit and pumpkin seeds.

Woyah Andressohn died at 6 months of age. Her parents feed her coconut water, wheatgrass, and almond milk.

These guys are QUACKS. Yes, they're vegans. BUT THEY'RE CRAZY. It's not as though the parents could say, "Oh boy...we no idea she was hungry!" These kids were emaciated and sunken, toothless, and one even had broken bones. Veganism is not child abuse, starvation is. But here's what's missing: Veganism is not starvation.

There is a mountain of evidence out there about a vegan diet during pregnancy, not to mention a mountain of mothers who've successfully given birth to and reared a vegan child...you just have to be careful, just like with any other choices during pregnancy. A person who eats like shit is going to have a child with problems, whether or not they're a vegetarian.

So, to you, anonymous "loved one" who sparked this whole line of mental musings, fear not. A pregnancy in any case will be an exercise in mindful living. And though I can't say for sure how I'd handle it, I can assure you I won't be starving my baby. Don't worry.

Vitamin B-12

I, for the first time in my life, am considering taking a vitamin supplement. Having always considered vitamins to be an unnecessary and expensive addition to a multifarious, well-varied diet, this is a big change. So big that only Elmo in a sequin jacket would suffice as an introductory image.

Here's the thing: The importance of B-12 has been outlined ad nauseum in all of my readings about veganism, and I've kinda been ignoring it. There's SO much misinformation out there about vitamins and foods and dosages and fillers...it's pretty ridiculous. We don't seem to have all the needed facts about how best to approach this supplement situation. What vitamin goes with what? In what dosage? What would inhibit absorption? Oh geez. Every time I think about it I feel like I need to take a nap. This, and the fact that I work really hard to feed myself well, has allowed my to push the whole B-12 thang to the back of my brain, pretty much discounting it.

B-12 is a tough one for vegans. It comes from a bacteria that, whadoyaknow, lives in the intestinal lining of animals. And the only way to get it is through eating said animal, most especially through dairy products and eggs. Hmm. Well, shit. Unless I eat B-12 fortified foods (there are a lot), I guess I need a supplement. But shouldn't my previous logic win out here? Why can't I ignore it? Well Shelley, because that's stupid. Though I should be clear that MOST PEOPLE WHO SUFFER FROM B-12 DEFICIENCY ARE NOT VEGANS (National Institute of Health, Office of Dietary Supplements), just three years of low intake is enough to start showing signs of degeneration in parts I'm gonna need...neural synapses, spinal fluid, my frontal lobe and the like.

So today, for the first time in my life, I'm going to shop for vitamins. I hate even saying it out loud...I never want to be dependent upon pills or anything of that nature. But as it turns out, a weekly drop of B-12 liquid under my tongue is all I need and that, fair readers, is something I can handle. Previously logic thwarted.

Pizza Part III: Top n' Cook, Baby!

Look at that beautiful thing! Don't ya just wanna DIG IN?

In reference to toppings, and in finishing your fabulous homemade pizza, I'm sure you all have a list of your fave preferences....I know I do. We tend to favor a mountain of onions, spinach, and no small amount of cilantro. And sometimes we skip the sauce and use olive oil and herbs instead (oregano, basil, thyme, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes), then top our beloved pizza with red onions, tomatoes, and vegan cream cheese...that's amazing too! And don't scratch your head at the "cream cheese" thing...IT'S SOOOO YUMMY! Topping ideas for your pizza are yours and your alone, so feel free to experiment and branch out (squash on pizza, anyone?)

And for the cheese on your pizza, you need only to refer to my "Cheese Cheese Cheese" post to find out how awful cheese is for your bod...and how ridiculously, irrevocably, irredeemably chock-FULL of saturated fat and calories it is. Skip the cheese, ok? You know why. Pizza is the perfect place to experiment with faux cheese! (Click here for a list of the goodies and the baddies). My personal fave is Galaxy Foods Rice Cheese, and is available for your visual perusal at the top of the page...see? It's not scary.

Finally, one final word on how to bake your pizza, one which I must first preface by reminding you...DON'T OVERLOAD YOUR PIZZA WITH STUFF! It won't cook right and may end up a soggy mess! Put your thin layer of sauce down (or your herb-and-oil mixture), followed by your lovely fresh toppings and a dash of fake cheese. Then, toss it into a preheated, seriously hot oven. The temp you set it at will vary for each situation, so a little bit of experimentation may be in order. I set mine at 400 and usually turn it up to 450 about half-way through the SHORT cooking process, only about 10 minutes. Watch it carefully for burning, and don't take it out before it's done or your slices will be droopy and sad...you want crispy but not burnt. Again, some experimentation may be in order but it's totally worth it!

Holy crap your house will smell amazing. And holy crap, your pizza will TASTE amazing. Oh, and um, holy crap....beer is pizza's perfect partner. Do it.

Pizza Part II: The Sauce

Guess what? You never have to buy this kind of pizza sauce again:
Gross. Though homemade pizza sauce can be complicated, not to mention full of nasty FUPA-causing cheese and oils, my recipe is so freakin' easy you'll wonder why ya never tried to invent one yourself.

Pizza sauce is essentially a marinara sauce with adjusted spices, either ramped up or pared down depending on your tastes. I like a fresh, simple sauce with only a bit of embellishment and I think you will too! Plus, it's easier that way! WOOT!

In a small saucepan, combine:
1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes (try to get Muir Glen...they're the best)
4 cloves garlic, whole, skins removed
salt and pepper

Bring the mixture to a simmer for about 15 minutes. Let it cool slightly then, working in batches if necessary, puree the yummines in your blender and return it to the pan to sit untouched for as long as your can stand it (bonus points for making it the night before). This allows for the flavors to meld and jive together....you'd be AMAZED how much difference time will make with tomato sauces!

When it's ready and when you can stand the wait no longer, spread a thin layer of sauce across your rolled-out UNBAKED crust using the back of a spoon, like this:Resist the urge to add too much sauce! Otherwise your crust will be soggy and gross! You want beautiful, delicate flavors to savor...an overabundance of anything will disrupt the balance of your fabulous pizza (I say with my pinkies up). No, but seriously....not too much, k?

Toppings? Tomorrow, baby.

Pizza Part I: The Dough

Pizza may be one of the greatest inventions of all time. And vegan pizza? HOLY CRAP IT'S GOOD. Our humble household is graced by the appearance of pizza at least once a week, though sometimes twice, and paired with a glass of beer and good conversation? I seriously look forward to it all week long.

But here's the deal: If you want your pizza to be the best it could be (and if you want to keep your tummy, ass, and thighs in check), ya gotta make it at home. Once you get the hang of it, homemade pizza will outwin whatever 4,000-calorie garbage is brought to your door...that nasty thick crust and all that jiggly-ass-causing, constipation-inducing cheese will gross you out. Blech. The awesome part is that homemade pizza is a cinch, and it all starts will the dough.

I jive on a thin-ish crust pizza, so I divide my batch of dough into thirds (if you want it a bit thicker, go ahead and divide it in half). I make this stuff every 2 weeks or so, using one portion right away and freezing the other two. Then, when you want to use the frozen stuff, simply toss one on your counter in the morning...the dough will be warm and nice by the time you get home, ready to use.

In a mixing bowl or the bowl of your Kitchen Aid mixer, combine:
1 1/2 cups warm water (bathtub water temp, NOT TOO HOT)
2 tsp active dry yeast

Stir the yeast into the warm water for a just a sec, only enough to get the yeast moist (it will float initially). Don't stir it too much and for heaven's sake, don't "dissolve" it like so many recipes say. Once the yeast touches the water it needs a calm environment to activate.

Leave the yeast and water for about 10 minutes, or until it foams (this is called "blooming" the yeast). A foam bubble should erupt out of the center of the water and leave a bubbly film on the surface...that's when you know it's ready. If the yeast seems like it's hangin' out on the bottom, tap the side of the bowl to slightly agitate the water. You should see your foam bubble arise from the depths, like this:
Once you've got nice activated yeast, dump the rest of the ingredients right over the top IN THIS ORDER:
1 cup whole wheat flour
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tbs olive or canola oil
1 1/2 tsp salt (be SURE you add the salt last)*

If you are lucky enough to have a Kitchen Aid mixer, now is where you get to add the dough hook attachment, turn it on low, and walk away. The rest of use get to bust out a spoon. If you're doing it by hand, stir up the ingredients until a shaggy dough comes together. Dump the whole thing out onto your floured countertop and knead the dough until it's smooth, adding more flour as needed to keep it from sticking. This process takes about 5 minutes of solid hand-and-arm action (how do ya think bakers get those bangin' forearms?).

Being sure to coat the inside of your mixing bowl with cooking spray, put your nice smooth dough ball back in the bottom of it. Spray the surface of the dough ball, too. Now, to RISE! I like to put the mixing bowl into a cold oven, which has a more consistent air temperature than the outside world. Let it hang out in there for 45 minutes, or until it's doubled in size.

When it's ready, dump the dough out of the bowl and divide it into 2 or 3 portions, depending on your desired crust thickness. Shape these hunks into balls and set them on your counter, like this:
Cover them with plastic wrap and let them rise again, this time for about 20 minutes. They'll poof up fast!

Now, after all that babying, the dough is ready and waiting for your pizza mastery. Take the portions you won't be using immediately and jam them into individual sandwich bags. Push the air out and toss 'em in the freezer for later. For the one who's time has come, roll it out on your floured counter. We use a big cookie sheet for our pizzas because 1) I'm too cheap to buy a real pizza pan that wouldn't fit in our oven anyway and 2)Because I find it difficult to roll dough out into a circle. Why? No idea. The rolling-out process may take you a few time to get the hang of, but fear not. It doesn't have to be perfect! Here's what ours ends up looking like:
Look at that. It's just begging for toppings, but will have to wait till tomorrow.

*Salt kills yeast. You need to keep them as far away from eachother as possible.

Butternut Squash Risotto

Yummy creamy rice! Belly-warming goodness! The perfect lunch on a rainy autumn day! Who'd've thunk that short grain rice would do this!

The recipe calls for arborio rice, which is a variety that simply begs to absorb liquid. You can use any kind of rice, but arborio will be the best...so spring for it. If you need to cut corners just be sure to steer clear of any long-grain type (NO WILD RICE and NO BROWN RICE). I used canned butternut squash because I was lazy. Roasted squash or pumpkin is super easy to do at home though, and would make this recipe all the better...or, you can be lazy like me.

In a large saucepan, heat:
7 cups veg broth, or water with 2 bullion cubes

Bring it to a gentle simmer. Meanwhile, in a bigger pan, heat some olive oil and add:
2 cups arborio rice
2-10 cloves garlic (don't skimp)
2 tbs sage

Cook on high until rice is less opaque, about 3 minutes. Then add:
1/2 cup white wine

Stir quickly, deglazing* the bottom and cooking until the wine is mostly evaporated.

Now, add one ladle of the simmering broth to the rice and stir until broth is absorbed. Continue adding broth, one ladle-full at a time, until rice is al dente in the center and creamy on the outside (about 20-25 minutes).

Finally, when the broth is almost gone add:
1-2 cans butternut squash or pumpkin
salt and pepper

Stir the whole thang together, taking good long whiffs from the pot and savoring that "YAY FALL IS HERE" moment. Serve yourself up a big bowl and position yourself for full-on relaxation. Extra points for rain lashing at the windows and a glass of red wine.

*Deglazing: When you cook something in oil there will usually be bits of browned stuff on the bottom of the pan...bits which happen to contain a boat load of flavor. Adding a liquid to a pan with yummy bits on the bottom will allow them to detach and thus, allow them to deposit their flavors into your food. Yum yum. Add the liquid and then quickly stir to get these bits to be a part of your world.

Sick.

I Want This

When I grow up and finally decide to permanently settle somewhere, AJ and I are going to build a little house. It'll be small and sustainable and fit only for us, and will require going into little or no debt to acquire it. I've had lots of fantasy ideas on this front (like this and this and even THIS), but nothing so cute and refreshingly real as this:





How AWESOME.

The Garden of 1000 Buddhas

There is a little hamlet just outside Missoula called Arlee. There's not much there...a few stores, a bar and post office, a small school. Amidst the grasses in the open plain there is a place called Ewam, which is a center for Buddhism study currently occupied by an ambitious endeavor: create 1000 identical Buddhas statues for their new meditation garden/pilgrimage destination. Check out how far they've come:
Pretty sweet, huh? The garden will be huge!
Many of you know that I've dabbled in Buddhism recently, not as a religion but as an interesting source of philosophy that happens to apply rather readily to my I-have-a-great-education-but-no-great-job life. That whole, "What the hell am I going to do now?" question....yeah, it's a bitch. And though it seems to be a unique problem to our hyper-educated generation, it's certainly not uncommon amongst my friends. Stephanie, with her enviable brilliance, has attempted to solve this problem in her own life by writing (her two short blurbs "Adults Do Not" along with "How Things Work" are amazing), while I have been searching for answers in books...many of which happen to be about Buddhism.

The word "Buddhist" seems a bit strong to apply to my own aimless wanderings at this point, but the Buddhist way of life is captivating. I need not go into major details here, on my blog about veganism, suffice to say that my readings have sort of allowed me to let go of all those attributes I thought my life would have by now....those little things that tug on the back of your brain like, "When I'm successful, I'll know if because I'll have _____." Or "I'm sure all the answers will be clear by the time I'm ____ years old." Those silly ideas, those supposed truths about adult life, they don't mean shit. They're making us all crazy. Buddhist followers work to let them go, and to look at life as it is NOW. How great is that? How liberating is that?

Anyway, I tell you all of this because a really fabulous opportunity has come my way recently: I get to cook for the upcoming Buddhist retreats at Ewam and the emerging Garden of 1000 Buddhas. It'll be a great learning experience, intensive and demanding...but amazing nonetheless!

12 Days Later...

Yes. I'm still off sugar. I haven't had too much trouble with cravings, nor have I started to come unraveled at the idea of eating dessert....that was, until last night: AJ walked in the door with a giant box of Double Stuf Oreos. Now unless you've been blacked out on bourbon while reading The Uprising, you already know that Oreos are one of my absolute faves. They're crunchy. They're sweet. There's cream in the middle. They're VEGAN. They're amazing.

So when I saw that glorious blue package under my husband's arm as he waltzed in the door, I thought, "Well, I guess 12 days is long enough to be without sugar. I'm SO diggin' in." Hmm....I rolled the idea around in my head for a minute and decided to give myself a bit of my own Uprising medicine.

I told myself, "Well, you've made it this far..." That didn't work.

I thought, "You could just have 2 or 3..." I was kidding myself.

And then I realized, "You know what, Shelley? You already know what those taste like. Do you have to have them now?"

In that one translucent moment I saw that yes, I know exactly what will happen to my tastebuds when I munch on one of those beautiful cookies...bliss, really. But not new bliss. I didn't need it. And when I thought on it some more, it eventually became clear that I didn't actually want anything sweet...I wasn't jonesin'. I wasn't cravin'. It was simply out of habit that I would bust into that shiny package of doom.

Victorious over my own psyche, I watched AJ dip and munch and smile and dip and munch and smile, and all the while I just watched. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a small yet important triumph in my world.

So now, I'm holdin' out. Hangin' on. It's not too hard, but I do find myself looking greatly forward to this weekend, whereupon 2 of my wonderful friends will celebrate their birthdays with cakes supplied by yours truly. Red velvet for one. Chocolate chocolate for the other.

I am SO eating a slice of each.

Until then, I will satiate myself with this picture:
And this picture:
And THIS picture:
Holy shit.

Fraggin' French Fries!

Once you taste how AWESOME homemade french fries are, the other ones just won't seem as good. But beware though...fat-ass syndrome may ensue if you make them too often. Once you start eating them you won't be able to stop!

Crank your oven up to 450.

Take 2 or 3 big unpeeled yukon gold potatoes and slice them up into french fry shapes, taking liberty to go as big or small as you want and not freaking out if they're not all the same. Slice 'em up and toss 'em on your sheet pan BEING SURE TO LINE IT WITH ALUMINUM FOIL.

Coat the potatoes liberally with canola oil, along with your selection of any of the following herbs:
oregano
basil
dill (love that one)
thyme
paprika
black pepper
LOTS OF SALT (double love)

Swirl everything around on your sheet tray and toss it into the oven. Let them rock n' roll for about 15 minutes, then bust out your spatula and give them a toss. A few of my fries stuck to the foil, but I found that giving them a bit more time and allowing for a nice brown color to emerge helped avoid the sticky problem. If they're stuck, use your spat or your fingers to gently pry them up. Put the tray back in the oven for another 5 minutes, toss, then bake again. Follow the same routine until they reach your fave level of doneness.

Add ketchup or bbq sauce or just more salt. Dig in. The following day, go burn it off.

Roasted Beets

Another example of foods we're taught to hate, beets are actually outta-this-world tasty and CRAZY good for you. Roast them, peel them, and eat them. So easy.

(As a side note, there seems to be some contention about whether beets should be peeled before or after the cooking process...obviously, I'm a fan of roasting them in their skins. They turn out waaaaay more flavorful, cook faster, and make less of a mess that way. Where's the contention there?)

Here's how this works. It's, um...really easy. Dump your beets out on a sheet tray, add a good dash of olive oil and some salt, then turn them round and round until the outsides are evenly coated. They should look like this before going into the oven:
Toss 'em in the 'ol oven and let them roast for about an hour at 400 degrees. The time may vary if your beets are smaller, but just keep checking and err on the longer bake time if you're not sure. You know the beets are done when you can easily pierce one with a fork. When they reach this point, remove them from the oven and let them cool for awhile. You'll need to peel them, but you certainly can't do it when they're scalding hot! Good smells will abound. You may need to distract yourself.

Finally, take a small paring knife and slice off the long bits of root (these can be used for soup if you like) and the grungy brown bottom. Peel the beet with your little knife (or an actual peeler if you have one) and slice the soft red interior into bite-size bits. Add these hunks of yumminess to your salads or simply eat them alone with a bit of salt. They rock.

(pretty photo taken from here)

AJ's Way: The Golden Bite

AJ is one of the best eaters...ever...in the entire world. It's not because he feeds himself so well (he does) or that he's super healthy (he is), but rather how he eats that makes it a sight to behold. Watching him put food into his mouth, especially if I made it, is unbelievably gratifying because wow...he loves it and he shows it. Slowly and meticulously AJ will eat food, using all his senses and allowing the awesomeness that is eating to fill up his whole persona. It's so f-ing amazing.

AJ seems to have figured out this mindful, deliberate, gracious eating thing. And though he's got lots of interesting methods to extend the fantastic process of imbibing nourishment, there's one thing he does that is so super cool I simply had to tell you about it: His search for The Golden Bite.

Golden Bites exist in every meal. Simply put, the Golden Bite is the best bite of the whole thang in front of you, determined by you and using your own set of principles. For example, a common Golden Bite is the very center of a gooey cinnamon roll. Or the locale in your pasta bowl that's somehow gathered the most "stuff." Or the crispy edges of a hot pie crust. Whatever part of your food that you've deemed to be the best...that's the Golden Bite.

AJ, after he's located his Golden Bite, will wait to eat it until very last, slowly building up his food-induced bliss until one final moment of awesome yumminess. Some foods come with an automatic Golden Bite at the finale, like the very bottom of your ice cream cone or the salsa-soaked end of your burrito. But sometimes you have to eat around the Golden Bite zone, using your discipline and diligence to hold off until the end. For example, AJ will eat a cookie by munching down the crispy edges, turning and turning the cookie until the soft Golden Bite emerges in the middle. He does that with the hippy poptarts we sometimes buy, too. Inspired by him, I've learned to wait to eat whichever side of my black bean burger has the most mustard, and to eat all the pie off the crust so I can enjoy it's crispy deliciousness at the end, unencumbered by the yummy-yet-not-as-good-as-the-crust filling.

Watching AJ finally eat that most succulent morsel will make you think, "That guy is really enjoying his food." And he IS! AJ loves to eat, and does everything he can to extend the process. Vegan or not, any food we eat deserves to be loved. Where's your Golden Bite?

Kill Your TV

Here it is. Something you already know and choose to ignore. If you hate me for saying it, you might want to ask yourself why...Here it comes...the thing you don't want to hear....Ready?

TV IS REALLY BAD FOR YOU. YOU NEED TO GET RID OF IT.

Before you freak out, allow me to clarify that yes, I had television growing up. We had basic cable until I was 12, when one day my Dad came home with a new-fangled thing that was going to be super awesome for all of us: A satellite dish (this was 1996). WOO! Now we would have 100 channels and boy this'll be great. Yup. I watched it. Though I wouldn't call my family life TV-centric, it was definitely on every night from then on. When I left home and moved to Missoula, my first dorm had free cable! How 'bout that! Now I could watch MTV without getting in trouble! My first apartment also had cable for free, and I didn't actually have to make the decision to start paying for TV until AJ and I moved to Eugene in 2007...whereupon we used the following logic to rationalize paying $140/month for TV: Well, we're making more money now so it won't be such a financial burden. And we really want to see all those soccer games on Fox Soccer, but we have to order the whole "sports package" in order to get it...Hmm...Yeah, sure. We'll spring for it and see how it works out.

Um, it didn't. I found myself at 23 watching stupid shit like "Desperate Housewives" and even "The Hills" (a fact I haven't ever announced publicly...yes....I used to watch that drivel). What the fuck was I doing to myself? Wasting my time on planet Earth watching other people live? AJ had the same kind of problems, and we both started noticing newly-minted bad habits. We also realized that all conversation stopped on a dime when that piece of shit was on, and we'd spend a precious hour together without saying anything at all. It had to stop. We were getting fatter and more stupid with each passing moment.

So, we did something that many people talk about and few actually do: We got rid of it. We canceled the service. We sold the TV. We broke television's spell over our beautiful minds and bodies. And that, hotties, is how I came to live without TV.

Why aren't more people doing this? Since YOU KNOW TV IS BAD FOR YOU, why aren't you taking that glowing box out into the alley and smashing it to bits? I read a really interesting article recently that surmises 3 big reasons why you're avoiding this battle (and why you're getting mad at me for pointing these things out).

1. It rationalizes entitlement and consumption.
TV tells you that the path to happiness is paved with spending. The message says, "It's perfectly fine to spend without restraint" and goes on to say "You deserve it." The ads tell you to spend, spend, spend. So you go out and buy, buy, buy.

2. It makes you feel superior to the rest of humanity.
Your TV thinks you are the most important person in the whole wide world. Everything is catered for you and your needs. Ads do it blatantly - Burger King says, "Have it YOUR way." T-Mobile says, "It's all about YOU." AT&T says, "It's YOUR world, delivered." But, TV also shows other people doing it...acting on the "I'm the best person ever" thing and even promoting our superiority as Americans. Puke.

3. It allows you to accept stupidity.
The Associated Press did a poll in 2007 that reported an astounding one-quarter of Americans hadn't read a book in a year! The quick flashy world of TV has to reduce everything to the lowest common denominator...gone are the complicated explanations and understandings of written words, along with the intimacy of self-reflection. TV is turning you into an idiot.

Take a look at that glowing box, then ask yourself if what it gives you is worth the sacrifice of your own fantastic, highly-evolved human mind. What else could you do with your life? Make a movie starring your pet iguana? Mash up 50-Cent's vocals with Queen's instrumentals? Blog about your state of mind or the state of the nation or the state of the french fries at the new restaurant down the street? Shit YES you could!

Finally, I see some of you waiting in the wings to say, "Wait a minute, Shelley! There ARE a few things on television that are smart and worth your time." I wholly agree! A show called "Taboo" on The National Geographic Channel is awesome, as is most of the programming on PBS (not to mention my mentioned-too-often adoration of Star Trek, which I enjoy via a glamorous stack of burned DVDs). However, I say with my finger in the air, keep in mind that most of the channels with good stuff are inaccessible to those who can't pay more money. Talk about fueling the war between the classes...great shows with great information that are entirely reserved for the rich. Awesome. (By the way, the same guy who wrote the previously-mentioned article wrote another one about this exact problem)

TV stops you from thinking. TV stops you from contributing. It makes you fat. And it skews your reality. GET RID OF IT, or at least begin to recognize whether you're doing mental gymnastics to validate its presence in your life.

2 Weeks Off Sugar

It seems as though I've lost my taste for sweets. I don't crave them, I don't want them, and frankly, I could live without them. But, well...um...this wasn't always the case. I used to finish every meal with something sweet, even breakfast! I'd crave sweets and sugar all day long and would be hard-pressed to turn anything down that might give me a fix. When I turned to vegetarianism and eventually veganism, this problem didn't go away and I found myself making steps backwards with every Oreo, vegan cupcake, or fabulous vegan peanut butter cup that passed my lips.

I can't tell you what happened, but somehow I slowly changed my foods habits and tweaked my exercise life enough to make these cravings go away. I didn't try. I didn't make a decision to stay away. The need to eat sugar just kind of left me...but not entirely, it would seem. Because the moment I decide that "Yes, I'll have another Oreo" or "Sure. Let's dump some vegan ice cream over those blueberries" or "Hey! Let's make COOKIES!" I start to feel the icy fingers of sugar addiction slowly entwine themselves around my life. The more sugar I eat, the more I want.

These on-again-off-again situations make themselves known to me once or twice a year, the most recent one starting last week with handfuls of chocolate chips and culminating with a Snickers binge. I could feel the cycle starting again....the "I want sugar" followed by the "Must have sugar" problem. And seriously, I'm fed up with it. In fact, I'm so over it that I decided to do what my gal-pal Kirsten did: Leave sugar alone entirely for 2 weeks.

That was last Saturday. Today is day 7. And ya know what? It's freakin' EASY! It's a nice structure to put down on yourself. You know exactly how to respond when you see these yummies floatin' around (which are vegan with the exception of the candy toppers):
Or this incredible thing I never want unless it's Homer Simpson pink:
You just say, "Nope. I'm leaving that shit alone for 2 weeks." See if you can do it...I bet you'll find that you succeed with more ease than you thought possible. When my 2 weeks are up, I might just keep going!

"Ravenous" and the Consumption of Flesh

I was recently talked into watching a 1999 horror/drama film called "Ravenous." (See the movie poster above...looks scary, huh?) I went into it thinking, "Shit. I'm going to have nightmares forever," because here's the deal: "Ravenous" is about cannibalism. Lots and lots of cannibalism.

I was prepared for a certain measure of gore, but it turned out to be futile. The movie isn't as gory as I thought it would be, but it definitely shows major man-on-man action (eating, that is). These guys, sequestered in a military fort somewhere in the Sierra Nevadas, do end up tearing each other apart...bloodiness ensues. But while I was watching these nasty things, pausing only once to cover my eyes, I found myself not entrapped by the "Oh my GOD I'M SO SCARED" factor but instead consumed by an academic "Let's pull this apart and analyze" spirit...one that made me look at the knives and blood and bones and human steaks and think, "Huh," with an inquisitive turn of the head.

Because, when ya think about it, there's kind of a fuzzy line drawn about the whole concept of eating flesh. We've decided that some animals are okay to eat while others aren't, decisions which are affected greatly by culture, geography, and available resources. For example, we privileged Westerners think eating chickens, cows, and pigs is fine (although pig-eating remains under scrutiny for some reason), while horses, whales, and dogs are all off the menu. Why? Maybe because we've grown attached to these animals in some way and grow uncomfortable at the thought of eating Fido and Spot and Flicka. I'm starting to wondering if it isn't a measure of proximity that affects those decisions...perhaps if we spent more time around cows we'd be less inclined to kill and eat them. However, this distinction isn't concrete either, as one Arizona restaurant owner recently learned when he tried to serve lion burgers. There was a huge public outcry, touting the use of lion meat as "inhumane and cruel." Clearly lions are off the menu too, even though most of us will never be near enough to one to feel attached.

What's the difference between eating a cow and a lion? A chicken or a whale? Why don't you eat your dog? What about your fuzzy kitty? I ask these ridiculous questions because really, there's no reason other than those we've created ourselves. We've come up with all kinds of validation for eating certain animals while protecting others. But you know what guys? Flesh is flesh. A dead animal is a dead animal. When we stop doing mental gymnastics to help ourselves feel okay killing things, we can arrive at an interesting intersection: What's stopping us from eating ALL flesh?

This question came floating into my mind near the end of the movie, when the men feasted on a stew made with the flesh of a dead comrade. I was immediately struck with awe as I saw that the pieces of dead animal floating around the stew looked like any other animal meat and frankly, could have been any other meat. We're made of flesh and bone just like a cow, yet eating a human being is unthinkable.

When ya get right down to it, eating ANY flesh doesn't make sense unless you resign yourself to eating ALL flesh. This is simply a reality we've chosen to ignore.

Why? Here are the top five reasons to eat meat:
1. It tastes good.
2. It makes you feel good.
3. It's a great American tradition.
4. It supports the nation's farmers.
5. Your parents did it.

Oh, sorry...those are five reasons to smoke cigarettes.

Homemade Hummus

(sorry 'bout that craptastic photo)

STOP. BUYING. HUMMUS. This recipe is so easy...you'll kick yourself for ever spending 3 bucks on a tub of this yummy stuff. Use it to make quesadillas, as a dip for veggies or pita bread, or as simply a show-off tool to say, "Hey, bitches...this is REAL hummus." Lots of recipes call for tahini, which is a sesame seed paste, but I don't think it's necessary...you seriously don't need it. Check it out though, it's fucking hilarious:

In your blender, combine:
1 can garbanzo beans, drained
2 tbs olive oil
dash of lemon juice
salt and pepper

Turn your blender onto its lowest setting and bust out your spatula. Being careful not to touch the moving blades, use your spat to scrape down the sides and smash the yummies towards the center. If you need to add more moisture to achieve a smooth consistency, add a bit more oil or even a dash of water (especially if you're watching your calories). Buzz it up till it's nice, and then laugh hysterically when you walk by the $3-$4 hummus bins and head straight for a 99-cent can o' beans.

Here's how it starts:
Here's how it finishes:

Squash and Eggplant Stew à la Katie

My wonderful friend Katie lives in Jerusalem. She's pretty much the bomb, and has been ever since we played music together in college. Though I rarely get to see her (Jerusalem isn't exactly 'round the corner), she did recently make a swing through Missoula and bestowed upon me a most fantastic gift: a big 'ol bag of saffron!

Now ya may not know, but saffron is the most expensive spice in the world by weight. And though Katie is generous and amazing (she says it's remarkable cheap in Jerusalem), I could never have expected to come upon such a rare spice in my world...SO THANKS A WHOLE LOT, KATIE! YOU ROCK!

Just as a side note, saffron is so hugely expensive because the plant it comes from is very very hard to grow. Susceptible to all kinds of parasites and other nastys, the saffron crocus needs extremely particular conditions to thrive in terms of humidity and air temp. And once you finally get the thing to grow, you're only going to use a little teeny part of it! So yeah, it's expensive. Here's a picture of the saffron crocus plant:

The bright orangey-red stamen has a bitter flavor and pungent aroma, while the yellow part offers nothing as a spice. These little babies have to be separated by hand and stored in just such a way as to prevent rot....sheesh....that's a high-maintenance spice. Check out these women and all those purple flowers it takes to get just a little bit of actual saffron:
Anyhoo, you can see what I freaked the fudge out when Katie handed me a plastic bag full of this precious stuff. Holy CRAP! And um, well...you may be wondering why I'm even sharing this recipe with you. You're thinking, "How the hell am I'm gonna get my hands on saffron?" The good news is that, hurrah, you don't have to have it...it's just really delicious. This recipe can be pulled off with a good dash o' cumin and some serious paprika action. So, it's the perfect opportunity to experiment with spice combos! Do it. If you're feeling indulgent and aren't lucky enough to have a friend like Katie, you can get it at any natural food store.

Heat up some oil in a stockpot on medium high. Add:
2 onions, diced
1 medium eggplant, peeled and chopped
1 small summer squash, UNpeeled and chopped

Sautee the veggies until the onions are translucent. Then add:
2-3 gloves garlic
2 tsp cumin
1 tbs saffron
heavy dash of cayenne (I like to burn my lips off)
24oz can diced tomatoes (save the can)

Stir until combined, then add:
1 cup dry lentils, red or brown
2 tomato cans of water
salt and pepper

Plop a lid down on top of that whole amazingly good-smelling conglomeration, drop the temp to medium, and let it rock n' roll (you don't want it to be boiling...simmering, ok?) Cook the stew for about 30 minutes, or until the lentils are soft. Check it about halfway through and take off the lid if it seems like there's too much liquid hangin' around.

NOW. Get a beer. Go outside. Taste ecstasy.

Damn You, Snickers...Damn You to Hell

It's come to my attention that my new work schedule is highly conducive to overeating at night. This sucks the big one...big time.

Before, when I was at work by 5am and home by 2, I would enjoy a large leafy salad at work for lunch and then merely snack for dinner (like, toast with faux butter or even just beer). Things were good. Simple. My tummy was happy. My life was happy.

But now...ahhhh...NOW...I find my beautiful reality all askew, torn asunder by the new schedule and the stress of being back with kids. Oi. So what do I do when I get home at 6pm? Even if I've already had a big lunch? I EAT. I eat way too much. And then I feel like poo.

Here's how it worked: I came home and went straight to the freezer, whereupon I pulled out a perfectly frosty glass and proceeded to fill it with beer (so amazing). Then I thought perhaps I'd make a spinach wrap, which is simply a tortilla jammed full of raw spinach, onion, salsa, and a schmear of fake sour cream. Yum yum. I gobbled it down, but not before thinking, "You know what would go great with this? CHIPS AND SALSA!" So, yup, I dove into that with little abandon and refilled my beer glass in the process. It was then that I told myself I'd had enough and sat down to enjoy the first episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Fine. Great. Fab. But then, a little voice started poking me, "You know there's a Snickers in your cupboard. You supposedly brought it home for AJ's fencing kids or perhaps to save it for sneaking into the movie theater sometime...But wouldn't that taste great right now? Hmm....Yeah. It sure would." Into the cupboard I went, and down into my precious stomach went sugar-laced non-vegan Snickers. It tasted amazing but felt horrible.

I then spent about 30 minutes berating my recklessness, which is of course WORSE than just accepting the guilt of your crime and moving on. Nope. I couldn't let it go. It was suddenly all I could think about, even with the lyrical words of Patrick Stewart whirling about my mind. I decided that a little walk would do me good, and it actually DID...until I got home and felt so overwhelmed that I had to write this little confession, this abrupt realization that yes, overeating STILL sucks and that being too full is STILL the worst feeling in the world.

Cranberry Almond Breakfast Bread

This recipe is weird, but go with me on this. You might end up thinking, "Shelley? What the hell?" but hang in there and it'll all work out. You'll have this amazing loaf of awesomeness to console your previous doubts. You can make it into muffins too, or use some other fruit/nut/chocolate chip combo...how's that for versatility?

In a big bowl, combine:
1/2 cup canola oil
6oz soy yogurt or faux sour cream
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbs white vinegar
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
Whisk these ingredients together until the mixture is smooth and shiny, then add:
1 handful almonds, chopped
1 BIG handful dried cranberries
Stir those goodies in. Yumm. Then add your dry stuff:
2 2/3 cups whole wheat flour
1 tbs cinnamon
1 tbs baking soda
1 tsp saltdash o' nutmeg

Once you stir these things together, you may begin to scratch your head. The dough acts and feels weird...kinda like Play Dough...but it's cool. Don't freak out. Press the dough into your greased loaf pan using the back of a spatula (it may stick to your hands). If you want, add more chopped almonds and a sprinkling of brown sugar for a topping, then bake it at 350 for 25 minutes or until a knife comes out clean. Be careful though, cause this delicious bread can trick you...it may look done, but you can only know if you test it. So test it.

Now, eat it.

Carrot Ginger Soup

I freakin' love autumn and winter, but you can't hate me when I say it. Do you hate me yet? I love sweaters and fires and flannel sheets and hot bread and tea and beer and hot soup with red wine. BRING IT ON. Since it seems that summer has given up around here, I'm now heartily moving towards warm, comforting foods while I watch the rain slam against the windows. I relish the delights of cold weather! Let's make soup!

In a large stockpot, heat up a good blob of oil and add:
1 large onion, roughly chopped
4-10 cloves garlic, minced
7-10 carrots, chopped
2 medium potatoes, peeled and quartered
2 tbs fresh ginger, chopped or grated (use as MUCH as you want!)

Heat these ingredients through, until the onion is kinda translucent and the carrots brown a bit. Then add:
4-5 cups water, just enough to cover the veggies
lots of salt and pepper

Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium and simmer for about 40 minutes or until potatoes and carrots are soft. Then, working in batches, puree the soup in your blender until it's smooth and creamy. Add more salt or pepper if needed, then grab a big hunk o' bread and dig in.

(recipe inspired by and adapted from "The Vegan Table")

AMENDMENT: Added 9-27-2010
Hey guys! Today I tried this recipe without the potatoes and was very happy with the result...It was super flavorful and a bit smoother in texture. So feel free to leave 'em out!

Salad 1.0

I hesitate to talk about salad because the next thing you know I'll start getting comments like this:

"What? You want me to eat SALAD for the rest of my life?"
or
"Jesus Shelley, you eat like a fucking rabbit."
or
"What do you eat when you're like, RAVENOUS?"
or, my all time favorite,
"You forgot the protein in that meal. Aren't you afraid of kwashiorkor?"

Okay, no one says that last one (at least not yet). But seriously, salad is fraggin' awesome. And although I tend to enjoy giant piles of vegetables for lunch, they are by no means the entirety of my diet. So THERE. I've discovered a whole bunch of delectable salad combinations and thought I'd share some of them will all you hotties out there looking for a square meal. Here's the basic, the uncomplicated, the beautifully simple Salad 1.0.

I start with one giant pile o' spinach or some good-looking romaine. Do NOT get iceberg lettuce unless you want to hate your salad, ok? Go with whatever leafy yumminess looks good to you, keeping in mind that the darker the color, the better. On top of my pile of leaves, I add:
sliced or cherry tomatoes
cucumbers, skin on
onions, red or whatever
1/2 avocado, cubed (awesome)
1 handful toasted pumpkin or sunflower seeds

How do I top all this goodness?
lemon juice (squeeze the juice out of a quarter, save the rest)
olive oil (just a dash)
salt
pepper

Hurrah! Best salad evah!