Bruschetta Sexica Classica

Garlic is for lovers, meant to be enjoyed as a twosome...as a stinky-breath, sexy-thought-inducing reason to get in the shower (because you both stink so badly). Is there anything better than that?

And plus, y'all get to eat bruschetta. Not in that teeny weeny appetizer way either, but in a big honkin' meal-sized way. I just made your night with garlic, tomatoes, and bread.

You're welcome.

Bruschetta typically uses grilled bread, but since I don't have a grill and won't settle for a shameful toasted bruschetta (tisk, tisk), I decided to fry my thick bread slices in Earth Balance. It was a good decision. It works best in a cast iron or non-stick pan but I didn't have one of those either, so I just used more Earth Balance. That was an extra good decision.

First, get your tomato topping ready. In a small bowl, combine the following for the most basic recipe:
1 big can diced tomatoes*, well-drained (extra points for fire roasted)
2-10 cloves garlic (feel free to go to town...it'll be sexier)
salt and pepper to taste

Add-in's may include:
fresh basil
red pepper flakes
capers
artichokes
onions
white beans
whatever your lil heart desires

Stir it all up in your bowl, draining off any excess liquid that comes to the surface, and set it aside.

Then heat your skillet/sautee pan over medium high heat and add a good hunk of Earth Balance, about 2 tbs (you can always add more if you need to). Melt it all the way down, making sure it's good and bubbly before you plunk down your nice thick slices of crusty bread or baguette (an inch of thickness seemed to be about right for the perfect balance of crunch on the outside and chew on the inside). Let them hang out in the butter for a solid 3 or 4 minutes, only turning them when a toasty golden brown color appears. You may need to add a bit more butter when you turn 'em over, since the bread absorbs so much of it. I know. It's a terrible thing.

Get both sides of your bread nice and toasty, like this:
Now it's time to schmear them with your amazing tomato/garlic medley while the bread is still warm. Stack those yummies carefully on top, going all the way to the edges. The key is not to overload them though, ok? Tomatoes running down your chin and into your lap is NOT sexy. Eating them slowly with a glass of wine IS, especially when you get to breathe all over your partner afterwards.

Again, you're welcome.

*Sure, you could use fresh tomatoes, but is it me or do most tomatoes taste like crap this time of year? Or, perhaps more accurately, taste like nothing? Summertime will be different, but for now you should have no qualms about using canned tomatoes. Just buy a quality brand and you won't be disappointed.