Chocolate Almond Biscotti

Ah, biscotti. Just one more of the billions of baked goods that become infinitely tastier when dipped in coffee. Except this version won't give you a jiggly butt. And HEY! What better time to use your cheap-o box of Ener-G Egg Replacer?

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Beat together the following with your hand/stand mixer:
1/2 cup Earth Balance butter (that's one stick)
1 cup sugar

Blend it together until the mixture starts sticking to the side of the bowl (this is called "creaming"...add it to your baking vocab). Now, create your eggs in a small bowl. Stir together:
4 1/2 tsp Ener-G
6 tbs H2O

And then, whisk it like crazy. Really. You want the faux-egg mix to be foamy and thick. When it's there, add it to the butter-sugar mixture along with:
1 tsp vanilla

Mix well, scraping down the sides of the bowl a few times to make sure there isn't wad of Earth Balance hangin' out on the bottom. Then throw in:
1 cup whole almonds

Adding them before you add the flour mixture allows you to skip the whole nut-chopping procedure, which I find to be tedious and irksome. Toss in the nuts, turn on the mixer, and watch them get chopped, right before your very eyes! This also ensures that they get evenly distributed without having to overmix (which, as you well know, would lead to biscotti-shaped hockey pucks).

Finally, add:
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
dash o' salt

Mix only until everything is incorporated. You may need to add a teensy bit more flour if the mixture is super sticky, since you'll need to be working it with your hands in a sec. Do it if you need to, otherwise, move on.

Biscotti gets baked twice, but don't worry...it's not complicated. The first thing you need to do is divide the dough in half (dump it on the counter and eyeball it), then shape each half into a flat loaf about 4 inches wide. Do most of the shaping on the *greased* sheet pan because you won't be able to move it easily once it's formed. Build up a nice square edge if you can, then bake the loaves side-by-side for about 35 minutes or until the bottoms are brown. They'll look like this when they come out of the oven the first time:
Kinda ugly, huh? Fear not. It's about to get pretty.

Let these loaves cool for 10 minutes. Once you can easily handle one, move it to a cutting board and slice it crosswise like this:
You might need to experiment with knives for this project, since a dull blade will smash the soft biscotti. I usually score it with a serrated knife then slice the rest of the way with my sharp, heavy chef's knife. Whatever works for you.

Once both loaves are cut, gently place the slices back on the sheet tray like so:
See how soft the centers are? Bake 'em again, baby. This time for about 7 minutes until they're brown and toasty-looking. Flip them over with tongs (or with your fingers) and bake again, but be sure to keep an eye out for burnage. No one wants burnage.

Your house will smell delicious when you finally pull them out of the oven, but you'll have to wait to do anything will them until they're cooled! Sorry...usually I'm a proponent of burning my mouth off. Not in this case. They'll fall apart and soil your beautiful cup of coffee which, to me, is so NOT an acceptable sacrifice.

You can always eat biscotti plain but if you're feeling naughtly, go ahead and drizzle them with (or dip them in) melted chocolate. Om. Nom. Nommy. Noo.