Stop making that face. I hesitate to call this a "cleanse" but find myself tongue-tied as to another descriptor...would "detox" be better? I didn't think so.
Okay. Let's agree to hate the word, but love the concept. A spring cleaning, a mindful reset, a return to healthy habits via a week of EXTRA SUPER DUPER healthy habits! I really need to do this because, if you were to look at my diet recently, you'd think I was a lunatic...I'm up one day, I'm down the next. On Monday I'll eat oatmeal, fruit, and salad all day and go to bed early with a cup of green tea and a deserved sense of self-satisfaction. On Tuesday I'll wake up with cake, eat white pasta for lunch, a big 'ol plate of vegan pizza for dinner and wash it all down with 4 beers and a big bowl of popcorn. I'll wake up the next morning feeling terrible, so I'll go back to fruits/veg/whole foods for the next 24 hours...and so on and so on. It's starting to get old.
Since I'm feeling more and more like Spring is just around the corner, that my salt and sugar cravings are just enough out of control to warrant action, and that my pants are just a bit too snug, I'm stepping off the diving board into a week of self-imposed detox. This isn't going to be one of those scary not-going-to-eat-anything detox diets but rather, a mishmash of several cleanse plans that have been successful to a few loved ones of mine. I've got no one to be accountable to accept myself (and you guys) and no intention of losing weight or turning into Heidi Montag.
Do you still think I'm crazy?
I don't think so. But, in the spirit of transparency and for all the fledgling healthy eaters out there, I've decided to take the Uprising along for the ride. The things I do for love.
Here are the specs, or at least the ones I've figured out at this point:
I will not have any wheat, sugar, or alcohol.
90% of my diet will consist of raw fruits and vegetables.
10% of my diet will consist cooked quinoa, plain, for breakfast.
I will also be using my blender a whole bunch, drinking lots of herbal tea or lemon water, and may also get a colonic (if I'm feeling SUPER inspired). My plan is the result of lots of research and planning, and an inability to drop the cash to spring for a pre-prescribed one like Blue Print Cleanse or Kaeng Raeng. So, I'm creating one of my own, making the juices and creating the cashew milk all on my own because I'm cheap, yes, but also because I want you all to be able to do it too...and I'm betting you're also poor.
SO! After all the lead-up, here it is...
....Shelley. Out in the world. Detoxing. *twitch*