The Exit, with Sloppy Joes

The following is a list of Sloppy Joe's aliases.

Yip Yips
Yum Yums
Wimpies
Slushburgers
Hot Tamales
Taverns
Sloppy Janes (Joe's ladyfriend)
Steamers
Gulash
Dynamites
Manwiches
Victory Burgers
Juice Burgers
Snot Burgers
Finger Toes

Way to go incognitus, Joe.
What is it about tomato-soaked bread that is so delicious? Isn't it, like, totally weird that something so silly could be exactly what I want? What's up with that?
It's Memorial Day weekend and I'm so excited I can hardly think straight, sitting here just outside my kitchen with a pile of dirty dishes looming and waves of heat rolling out of my oven (that's the price of roasted beets). I have marinara sauce to make. I have a loaf of bread to rise. I certainly have no time to sit on the porch dreaming about my upcoming weekend. I certainly cannot be on vacation already.

But I totally am. I so totally am. This weekend, me and AJ and a cadre of pals from yesteryear are flittering up to northern Minnesota to do...well, absolutely nothing. Except eat. And drink. On the dock. In my new fabulous swimsuit. It's going to be sooo amazing because, really, I haven't been out of town in so long. I'm starting to notice the adverse effects of spring gotta-get-outta-here fever. Jittery legs, uninspired mind (unless, of course, I'm talking about leaving town), the inconsolable longing to smell sunblock and gasoline and eat potato chips and pack my coffee pot into its cute little carrying case for the journey. I long to wake up early and stand on the deck with my cup, my toes just slightly too cold and my brain positively buzzing with options about how best to relax. Swim? Sit? Read? Doodle? Approximate the mass of the universe? How about an episode or two of Game of Thrones and a map-drawing contest? The winner gets cupcakes, but only after I've eaten three. It might rain, it might not. I don't really give a crap. Because I am SO on vacation.

Sloppy joes would taste good up there, in the misty world of don't-gotta-do-nuthin' land.

In your skillet, crumble up:
1 package tempeh*

Cover it with water, about 1/4 cup, and turn the heat up to medium high. Simmer the tempeh for about 10 minutes, then add:
1 onion, diced
1 red pepper, diced

Cook it down a bit, just until the onions start to soften. Toss in a few more tablespoons of water if you need to, or even a dash of olive oil. Finally, when the veggies are cooked-ish, stir in:
1 can tomato sauce
1 tbs chili powder
dash of Worcestershire sauce
dash o' salt
dash o' pepper

Stir it all up and turn off the heat. Oh yeah, that smells amazing! Now, toast your buns and eat that sloppy joe like you're on vacation. I so am.

*"What the hell is tempeh?" Is that what you're asking by following the asterisk all the way down here? Tempeh comes in a brick, much like tofu, and is made up of soybeans that have been smashed together using a controlled fermentation process. It's crazy versatile and has a chewy texture that's to die for! Click here for the Wikipedia entry if you want to know more.

(recipe adapted from The Vegan Table)