Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Easy Writer Enchiladas

Winter must be over. Now. I realize it's still February (the END of the worst month of the year is almost upon us!) and that I live in the north and that winter is a reality and blah blah blah. I also realize I've mentioned in the past that I truly enjoy winter, and that actually remains true whilst we're in November and December and even early January.

But now, I'm over it. I've decided that since it's still May in my kitchen thanks to my abandon-all-hope-and-forget-about-planning shopping trip, I'll continue on by making it May in MEXICO. Ahhh...wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't it be nice to not have to skip runs anymore? Wouldn't it be nice to feel the sun on our backs? Wouldn't it be nice to put more miles on my legs than on my car?

Ask and it shall be, at least where food is concerned. And since the vegan doughnuts were such a challenge, I present enchiladas that are easy and spiritedly aware of their own summer-y-ness! Oh geez...make it so, enchiladas. You get to use canned enchilada sauce. That's easy. You get to use regular 'ol flour tortillas. That's easy (because really, what do you do with those extra corn tortillas?). You also get to use your microwave if you wish, despite your better judgment (it's not any easier than the option I present, so you can leave that scary contraption off...for now).

Turn your oven on to 350 and make the fabulous filling. Heat up some olive oil in your biggest saucepan, probably the same one you used for Pad Thai, then add:
1 onion, roughly diced
1 red pepper, roughly chopped (you want big chunks like the picture below)
2-3 carrots, chopped

Sautee over medium high heat until the onions are starting to soften a bit, then add:
a big 'ol dash of regular taco seasoning (told you it would be easy)*

Stir it up and add:
5-9 handfuls kale, chopped

Cook everything down until the kale starts to wilt, keeping in mind that the veggies will also be baked...don't over cook them.
When they're ready, turn off the heat and set the pan aside. Open your can of enchilada sauce, green or red, and spread a bit on the bottom of a 9x17 cake pan (this helps stop the enchiladas from sticking). Now, it's time to stuff and shove, baby. You'll need to move fairly quickly to roll the tortillas before they cool/harden, so make sure you have a clean plate ready and that your pan is prepped. All set?

Warm a dry skillet over medium heat...this is where you'll warm the tortillas for stuffing. You can use your microwave too, but this works perfectly well without the freaky microwaves changing the chemical construct of your meal. Drop one tortilla into the dry pan, wiggle it around, flip it over, wiggle again, then plop it down onto your clean plate. Quickly spoon a big line of filling right in the middle, roll it up tightly, and smoosh it into the pan.

Repeat. Like so:
Easy, huh? It goes really quickly once you get the hang of it, and is especially efficient if you have a helper to wiggle the tortillas on the stove while you roll. Regardless, when the pan is full, pour the sauce down over the top:
Use the back of the spoon to push around the lake of sauce until every exposed tortilla is covered, paying special attention to the ends. Finally, cover the top with veg cheese (I used my 2nd favorite, Daiya), seal the pan with aluminum foil, then bake for about 30 minutes.

Oh man will it smell like May in Mexico in your house!

This is what mine looked like when I pulled it out of the oven:
I ended up putting it under the broiler for a few minutes to brown the cheese, then I scooped out a giant portion for myself and watched with horror/hilarity as my windows steamed up from the heat.

Then, I ate it. I ate it while channeling my inner Julia Child, slowing chewing and smelling and chatting with AJ and sipping wine. I was enjoying it so much that I forgot to take a picture of the finished product on my plate...that's how good these things are.

I think you get the idea.

*Alternatively, you can use cumin, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, chili powder, salt, pepper, or any combination of yummy mexican spices

Monday, February 21, 2011

Vegan Doughnuts

AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I cackle with delight at the prospect of making these....these classic, sugary, yeast-raised, deep-fried, wads of scrumdiddlyumpcious revelry!

You must make them. Everyone will be impressed.

Okay, yeah...this recipe more complicated than the usual ones found in the Uprising world. But, you should know, I got your back. This post is accompanied by a veritable mountain of photographs to help you along. And if ya mess up, who cares?!?!? You'll have doughnuts to keep you company. Also, you'll need a candy thermometer. They're really really cheap and will save you lots of trouble in the long run. Grab one.

Ready to rock? 'Course you are. You're one brave hottie (look how sexy you are these days).

First things first: make a fabulous doughnut dough. It's a very very very similar process to regular breadmaking, so feel free to peruse my Vegan Whole Wheat Bread or Pizza Dough recipe if you need a refresher. In the bowl of your stand mixer (or in a regular mixing bowl if you're going to use your hands to mix), combine:
1 cup warm water
1 tsp sugar

Use your hand to stir it around and dissolve the sugar. Then add:
1 0.25oz packet active dry yeast (or 2 1/2 tsp)

Stir it together, but for just a sec...do not "dissolve" the yeast. You only want to break the surface tension of the water to prevent the yeast from floating. Once that happens, leave the yeast in peace so that it blooms like a monster. Oh yeah.

While you're waiting for the yeast, put a small saucepan on the stove over medium heat. Add:
4 tbs Earth Balance Butter

Leave it to melt. Then, check your yeast. You want it to be foamy and nice. Something like this:
It takes about 5-6 minutes to achieve full yeast activation, which is cool 'cause you're waiting on your butter to melt anyway, right? When in doubt, let the yeast go a little bit longer. When it's ready add the following right on top IN THIS ORDER:
2 1/2 cups flour (now's not the time for whole wheat)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp salt

Turn your mixer on low (fitted with the dough hook), or man a big spoon if your doing it by hand. Once a shaggy dough emerges, add the melted butter and keep mixing until the dough is sticky. Then, if you're using a stand mixer, add 1/4 cup flour to help the machine knead and let it work its magic for about 3 minutes. Non-mixer folks, once your butter is stirred up, dump the dough out onto a well-floured countertop and get busy kneadin' until the dough is smooth, about 6-8 minutes, adding more flour as needed. Whichever method you use, the dough should be soft and elastic by the time the kneading process is complete.

When it's there, plop the dough into an oiled bowl and let it rise, covered with plastic wrap, in a warm place for about an hour. I put mine right on top of my radiator:
Here's a zoom-in:
Can't you just sense the impending doughnut goodness? The rising process is complete when the dough has doubled in size, which can take longer than an hour if your house is drafty. I used to cheat this situation by turning my oven at 300 right at the beginning of my dough-mixing, turning it off after about 5 minutes. Then I'd toss the bowl in the turned-off-but-still-warmish oven to rise...seemed to work pretty well.

Okay. Has your dough doubled? Eh?

Dump it out onto your countertop and take a gander at all those nice air pockets you made:
With every little bubble of air your doughnuts become lighter and fluffier, not just balls of sweet dough. Awesome.

Now, it's time to shape your doughnuts. Since we cheated a bit by adding baking powder, you won't have to wait forever for the dough to rise a second time (just a few minutes, actually). Here's how I make the classic doughnut shape...first, I roll a bit of dough around in the palm of my hands, like this:
You want the doughnuts to be fairly small, since they blow up maniacally when you drop them in the oil. Smaller ones also cook better. Once your have a nice smooth wad of almost-doughnut, take your thumb and forefinger and smash them together through the dough to create a hole, like so:
Then, widen the hole with another finger, smoothing around the outside and working hard to keep the ring even all the away around:
You want the hole fairly large (about the width of your index finger...the one above is too small), since, as I said, these babies are gonna puff up like mad. The hole will close up if it's too small and you'll be left with a ball instead of a ring, which, incidentally, shouldn't make you too upset. You're about to eat homemade doughnuts.

Cover your formed dough with plastic wrap:
They need to rise for just a bit, giving you the perfect opportunity to heat up some oil for frying. You can use any kind of oil (I got away with using "light tasting" olive oil), but canola or safflower are probably the best choices. Fill a small pan with about 2 inches worth of oil, clip your candy thermometer on the side, and crank the heat:
Notice how I've used a deeper saucepan as opposed to a shallower, wider one. This is mostly because I'm cheap and want to use less oil, but also because the doughnuts do better when you fry just a few at a time, and because they'll be less oil splatter and less chance of a cranky version of you emerging after you had to spend 20 minutes scrubbing the stove. Everybody wins.

You want to oil to be sitting at a stable 375 degrees before you fry, but BE CAREFUL, GUYS. Make sure the handle of the pot isn't hanging over the side waiting to be bashed by your unsuspecting elbow. You'll thank yourself if you take a teensy bit more precaution, especially since you'll get to keep your skin. Once the oil is up to temp and not wavering (mine took only 6 or 7 minutes), it's time to start frying. Don't be surprised if your neighbors start peeking in the windows once you begin...they'll think Krispy Kreme has moved in next door when they smell the doughnut aromas wafting down the street.

Take a couple doughnuts and GENTLY place them in the oil like so:
They'll immediately pouf up and float to the surface, so keep your face away. Fry them for about 2 minutes or until the bottom is browned, then take a slotted spoon and flip them over. Their bottoms should look like this:
Nicely browned but not scorched. Let them fry for another minute or until the other side is uniformly cooked, then fish them out with your spoon and deposit them directly onto a plate lined with paper towels or a paper bag. THIS IS IMPERATIVE. Do not let them sit in their oil or they'll be mushy and grody. Ew.

Continue frying the doughnuts and cackling with glee, being sure to check the temperature of the oil a few times during the process in case it wavers. Once you're completely finished frying, turn the oil off and set it on the back of the stove, or somewhere it absolutely will not get knocked over. Once it cools you can dispose of it (I pour the cold oil into a big Ziploc, but that Ziploc into another Ziploc, and place it gingerly into the garbage).

And now, you get to dress 'em up. You can roll them in cinnamon sugar, regular sugar, or powdered sugar like so:
Or you can whip up a quick glaze by adding a few tablespoons of water to a small bowl of powdered sugar. Stir it up, then dip the top of each doughnut into the bowl and watch as the glaze drips down...oh baby (see photo at the top of the page). You could make a chocolate glaze too by adding a bit of cocoa powder, or even a maple glaze if you're feelin' sassy.

And really, who wouldn't feel amazing after making these!??!? Feel free to give yourself a giant pat on the back after this one. You're awesome.

Pour yourself a cup of coffee and eat your doughnuts. You may want to share. Maybe.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Julie, Julia, and a Revisit to Mindful Eating

This past week included a brief but fabulous return to 40-degree temperatures, a long run in shorts followed by an abrupt realization of my desperate need to replace my running shoes, a big 'ol birthday party for my mother-in-law, and an even bigger annoyance at a ticket for overdue license plates, which I discovered as I approached the car with my new plates tucked under my arm. DAMN IT. This week also included a re-view of Julie & Julia, which has turned into one of my favorite movies despite my initial resistance to see it.

I LOVE this flick, and anyone who adores (and obsesses over) food will too. The stories are both amazing, although Meryl Streep outshines Amy Adams like a red velvet cake outshines a bowl of jello, and the food is incredible to see...

...wait...what was that? Did Julie Powell (Amy Adams' character) just hork down a plate of amazing bruschetta in 2 minutes flat?
Uh, well...ahem. Back to the story. It takes place in two different locales, first in France with Julia and then in Queens with Julie. She's working as a...

...hold on. Julie Powell and her husband are eating bowls of boeuf bourguignon like a couple of starving bovines, shoving mouthfuls of food into their already-chewing faces, slugging down a swallow of wine and ripping apart of loaf of bread with their hands.

And now, I'm distracted. It slams into me like a freight train, my jaw drops, and I realize...there is a whopping HUGE difference between the two women and their husbands...Julie and Eric, who eat lobster thermidor and poached eggs over toast and artichokes with hollandaise without taking a mere moment to breathe between bites, and Julia and Paul, who upon receiving a plate of food close their eyes, take a good long smell, and simply say, "Butter."

As I watched, I kept thinking that it didn't really matter how well Julie's food was cooked. It could've tasted marginally good or unbelievably fantastic, the best thing they'd ever eaten, and they wouldn't have noticed! They were eating so fast, only pausing to remark that it tasted good before continuing on, the entire meal taking up a shamefully small span of time, and after she worked so hard to get everything right. "This is good"......bite....."This is really good"......bite....."You know, I think"......bite......"You might really be onto".......bite....."something"........fork down,gulp of expensive wine, fork back up.....bite.

Whereas Julia Child (who is amazing, by the way) admits that her favorite thing to do is eat, much like the rest of us. She takes time between bites to, well, swallow. She talks to Paul. She sips her wine. She puts down her fork to laugh at a joke. She smokes a cigarette. She chills the fudge out. And when she's full, she's done. Since we know it can take anywhere from 10 to 45 minutes for the brain/stomach to send satisfaction signals, it's no wonder Julie Powell complains that she's getting fat.
Watch the movie again and you'll see what I mean. We must all work to be more like Julia and less like Julie and her shoveling-because-it-might-disappear eating antics.

And while your at it, feel free to read my posts about mindful eating and sloooooooowing doooooowwnnnnnn. Okay?

(photos from here)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Mangolicious Merriment


Now I must admit something just a teensy bit shameful. Ready?

Until my grab-and-run shopping spree the other day, I'd never eaten a mango. Ever. Oh sure, I'd had them pureed in a smoothie or as a chutney or in salsa, but never had I picked up a mango and decided to eat it.

I was missing out. Have you ever had a mango? THEY'RE EXTRAORDINARY. Soft and juicy, like a sweet avocado. But, the thing is, they're kind of a pain in the ass to work with, a fact I discovered after one unsuccessful attempt at simply cutting into it...it doesn't work.

And so, I present for the benefit of all mankind...

...how to eat a mango.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Not this excited? Don't worry. You will be.

Woot.

A mango is ripe when it's soft, so don't go cutting into a hard fruit and expect anything other than fibrous orange muck. Regardless, you'll still have to cut around a giant seed in the middle of the mango which, unlike with a peach, won't separate easily from the flesh. So, place that baby stem-side-up on the cutting board, like this:
Then, slicing about a thumb's width away from the stem, cut off one full side of the fruit.
You may run into the seed here...if you do, just give the knife a little shimmy shake and it should come free. Hold the piece in your hand and carefully slice it like so:
Jam your thumb between the flesh and the peel and slowly work away the juicy orange love. A ripe mango peel should free fairly easily.
There. Now you have one little piece of mango. Keep working with the rest of the fruit, doing the same thing on the other side of the stem...slice, score, pry, peel. When you're done, you'll have a disc of mango that's mostly seed. Peel the skin off of this portion and make sure you get all of it (oh, I suppose I should mention, mango peel contains a chemical similar to the one found in poison ivy...don't eat it). But now, how do you get the flesh off that big 'ol seed? You can slice it off like so:
Or, you can do what I do:
What follows for me is the closest I'll ever get to a deranged jungle monkey. I chew the seed like a fiend, scraping off ALL that mango flesh with my teeth until I end up with this...
...mutilated remains of the most delicious fruit in the world...fruit that I'll be buying again and again till I'm orange in the face.

(pictures from here and here)

Friday, February 18, 2011

Grocery Store, Take Me Away


At this point in the year, I am always always always in a slump. Winter no longer gives me that warm, cozy, let's-make-soup-and-read-books-all-day feeling that's so nice in early November. No, by now winter is gray, cold, dull, and nasty, imparting the it's-never-gonna-be-warm-again doom over my life. Sheesh. I'm so over it.

Can't you just feel that everything's at a stand-still? It seems like nothing is progressing, nothing is moving, everything is just waiting for winter's spell to finally break.

My diet, just like everything else, has fallen into a rut...even become a bit ho-hum of late. And THAT isn't cool. It seems like I allow everything to slump a little during dullsville February, but when FOOD is boring? Oh no. Homey don't play dat. Anytime I look at a big pile of food I want to be inspired, simply exhilarated at the prospect of eating it. Because really, why not? Food should always be amazing.

And so, in order to break myself away from my overly trodden path, I strolled into the grocery store yesterday and just started grabbing. Fed up with planning and planning again, list-writing, and anything beyond the most basic preemptive planning against hunger, I decided to try the 'ol snatch-now-think-later approach. A little of this (bok choy), and little of that (shallots), and a few of that other thing (rutabaga) is what I needed to jumpstart my February blahs, my foodie slump...at least, I thought so, anyway.

I definitely underestimated the joy that came from this decision. When I dumped my strange fruits and vegetables onto the kitchen counter and stood back to survey my genius, it dawned on me that I actually had to learn to cook/eat them, which had an amazing effect on my mood. All of my foodie bounty came flooding back, and I found myself itching to try all kinds of recipes. I had to go online and figure out how to clean these funky things, sometimes even asking myself, "Uh, okay. Which part of this is edible?"

I guess there's something to be said for NOT planning, for NOT over-thinking, and for simply going with what looks good. Honestly, you should try it. Because, if you're anything like me, you are 100% ready to feel your fingers and toes again, 110% ready to breathe warm spring air, 150% ready to feel alive again.

February, you suck. But at least it's May in my kitchen.

(photo from here)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Pad Thai Tofu

This stuff is so fabulous, you'll never want to order it from a restaurant again! Plus, you get to use rice noodles...fun!

Rice noodles look like this:
They come in a wide and vermicelli varieties, and are made from brown or white rice flour and water. That's it. They're entertaining to use because, in most cases, including this one, you don't actually boil them...at all. Check it:

The first thing you need to do for scintillating Pad Thai is to soak the entire package of dry noodles in hot water (I use Annie Chun's). Fill up a bowl in your sink then toss 'em in. Done. While they're soaking, whisk the following together in a small bowl or cup:
1/4 cup soy sauce
juice of one lemon (or a couple squirts of the packaged stuff)

dash of sugar

dash of red pepper flakes (more if ya want extra ka*POW*)


Then, warm up some oil in your biggest skillet over med-high heat. You really will need your BIGGEST skillet. Then add:
1 onion, diced (shallots would be tasty too)
2-10 cloves garlic, minced
few
handfuls bean sprouts

as much as you want of your fantastic
baked tofu, diced

Saute for about 3 minutes, or until the onions are softish and the garlic is fragrant. Then, crank up the heat, drain your noodles and add them to the skillet. Pour your soy sauce mixture over the top and start tossin' like a mad man. The heat needs to be quite high in order to stir fry the noodles into submission, but you don't want anything to burn...so toss, toss, toss. When the rice noodles are soft, dump everything into a big bowl and try not to faint at your greatness.

Pad Thai is usually served with lots of topping options. Here are a few ideas:
cilantro (oh YES!)
chopped scallions

chopped peanuts

unsweetened coconut

lemon wedges

extra soy sauce
extra garlic

extra love

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Baked Tofu

Learn from my failures.

The first time I tried to cook tofu, I simply took it out of the packaging, cut it up, and tossed it into a skillet with some oil. I cooked it and cooked it and cooked it, but it never turned into beautiful, delicious looking cubes of joy like this:
It stayed soft and unbrowned. Worse, it stayed gelatinous and bland despite my attempt to season it. Ewww. I decided that tofu was gross.

And I was wrong. Tofu is amazing! I just sucked at cooking it! To this day it remains a bit of a mystery to lots of people, but I find that the best tofu comes out of my kitchen via the oven. It takes time, and the forethought to begin the marinating process a day ahead. It's so worth it though, and soon you'll be enjoying tofu with all kinds of yummy things (even as dessert).

Let's bake some tofu!

You want the kind packed in water, not the "silken" brands. Look for these packages in the refrigerated section:
Just like with soy milk, different brands impart different flavors. Some are beany-er than others, so don't get discouraged if you don't make the right choice on your first attempt. Try another brand. (I use Melissa's Organic Tofu).

First, get your marinade ready. In a small bowl, whisk together:
1/3 cup soy sauce
3/4 cup water
1 tbs oil (sesame oil tastes best here, but you can use anything you've got on hand)
2 tbs fresh ginger, minced
2-10 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup vinegar (any kind but balsamic)
solid dash red pepper flakes

Set this aside, then take the whole tofu brick out of the container and give it a good squeeze over the sink to get rid of excess water. Slice it into 1/4" thick pieces and lay them flat in a baking sheet, then pour the entire bowl of marinade over the top and let it sit as long as you can...preferably overnight. The longer it sits the more flavorful your tofu will be, so in the fridge it goes until the morrow.

When you're ready to bake, set your oven at 375 degrees and drain off most of the marinade into a bowl to use later (try it on rice...amazing). Bake the tofu for about 20 minutes, flip 'em, then bake for 20 more. You know it's done when the edges are crispy and the center is firm to the touch.

Tomorrow, we cook more!

(photographs from here, here, and here)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Roasted Parsnips

There they'd always been, parked on the shelf next to the carrots. I'd walked by them again and again, their beauty being constantly shadowed by their insipid orange neighbor.

Obviously, the carrot and the parsnip enjoy the close bonds of genetic kinship. They're also both part of the glorious ranks of the root vegetable, delicious and wholesome. But the parsnip is special because, when roasted, they'll turn into a soft, sweet, earthy bite of heaven that's so good you'll want to cry (or, in my case, eat the entire pan). I was stunned at the cinnamon-like flavor these little gems produce, especially when they're oh-so-slightly burned. Rapture in a root.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees and line a sheet try with foil. Add:
parsnips (as many as you want, washed and cut into sticks)
dash of olive oil
salt
peppah

Give everything a toss, then roast for about 15 minutes or until you can smell scintillating brown sugary joy wafting out of your kitchen. Serve, and note just how much the parsnip's orange cousin pales in comparison.

Oh yeah.
(photo from here)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Oscar v. Shelley

Running is the most amazing thing in the world. Your bod gets lean and luscious while your head processes all those pesky almost-thoughts that spin round and round, slowing clearing away the fog and the fuzz while you pound down the pavement like a crazed lunatic with Nelly throbbing through your earbuds. I've spoken (at great length) about the joys of running and how you TOO can be a runner, but I've yet to mention that...well, running in the winter is a pain in the ass.

That's certainly not to say you shouldn't give it a whirl, because you most definitely should. But if you've been slammed with snow like we have, then you'll need to suit up a bit and prepare to be frustrated. At this juncture, the sidewalks around many areas of the city have been completely obliterated by the plows (they gotta put all that snow somewhere). The sidewalks that remain clear are because someone, out of the kindness of their heart and perhaps because they feel the anger from runners everywhere, has strapped on some boots and a few layers of wool and attacked their walks with a shovel. You may have guessed that this situation is rare. Seeing a bare sidewalk is like seeing an albino dolphin. "How CRAP! What was that!?!??"

But what's a girl to do? What's an obsessed, sun-starved, chick to do? Why, run down the plowed road, of course!

Now, before you get up on your judgy horse or pull on your sassy pants, you should know that I choose my running routes with the scrupulous care of someone who wants to live. I'm not about to go jogging down the highway flipping people off as they zoom by. No, my path is the one of safety, baby, made more obvious by the bright pink shirt I wear that'll burn your retinas off and make you wish you'd looked away. The roads I'm running down are those that are populated by housewives and babies during the day, not cars.

So you can imagine my surprise today when the real Oscar the Grouch showed up. Seriously. What followed was an exchange that simply must go down in this sparsely-populated column of encounters: "Moments Where Shelley Says Exactly What She Means at the Moment She Means to Say It." It was rad.

Allow me to set the scene. There I am runnin' down a suburban block, jammin' to Madonna and wondering whether I should make lasagna for dinner when down the street comes a garbage man...an angry garbage man. He's hanging out of the back of the collection truck which is, oddly enough, the first moving vehicle I'd encountered for 3 miles.

"HEY," he yells, so loudly that Madonna's delicious voice was drowned out. Pulling out my earbuds, I turned to look at whoever had so rudely interrupted my dreams of vegan lasagna.

"Yes?"

Oscar raises his fist and actually shakes it at the sky while he says, "It's ILLEGAL to run down the middle of the street!!!"

Now, one of the unknown side effects of spending days with your nose in Regency Era literature is that your vocabulary begins to change. Endless musings on social constructs, politics, and various prettily-imagined subjects of womenfolk tend to skew your "Sup-dude's" and "Hey-yo's" into, "Why yes'" and "Jolly-goods." Okay, it's not that bad. But it is (and was) enough to allow me to actually respond with, "Upon which sidewalk would you prefer?"

Since all of those sidewalks that smile so lovingly at us in the summer were buried beneath 6 feet of snow, all he could say was, "Well...uh, I could TURN YOU IN!"

"Share the road, man," I responded with a shrug. I didn't want to argue. I just wanted to run some more. And as I toddled off down the street it suddenly occurred to me what a successful exchange that truly was. I mean, WOW! How often does such verbal clarity come to any of us? See, running is the most amazing thing in the world.

And so, if you see a runner bounding down the middle of the snowy street, please understand that they're desperate. Go home and lace up yourself. You'll soon know.

Click here for more on running, Uprising style.

(picture from here)